i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize