Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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