yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
