I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
