so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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