I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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