Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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