I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
