Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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