laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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