you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
