i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
