my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
