quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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