I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
