im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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