that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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