1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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