Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
