Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
