Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
