brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
