did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
