Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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