wat bout pragnant strippers??
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
