Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize