Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
