Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize