i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Randomize
