well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
