who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
