Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I looked at my own cervix.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So many bounce houses so little time
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
