So drunk, too bad you don't want this
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
