He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I will die if light touches me.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
