HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I got inside last night via doggy door
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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