how can u be prego again
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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