ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
