do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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