Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
time to smoke my breakfast
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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