he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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