Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
