plz talk dirty to me
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
