What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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