If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
