Me too!
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
