i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
