That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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