She is in my trunk
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
