let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
