he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I am available for nakedness
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
