i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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