no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
He has the fingertips of a God
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