just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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