yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Randomize
