i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
