too bad you live with your parents still
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Ketchup is God's man juice
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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