I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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