that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Randomize
