his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Blood and glitter go together right?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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