end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
you would pick up someone in the library
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
