remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
