No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
