At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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