I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
