i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
