And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
