I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
It was confusing and full of hummus
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
