Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
