I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
