is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
