you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
